Jade
| September 4, 2007 |
Tribute of a Son - Terry Ram
 | |  | |  | |  |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |
Friends & Family,
Thank you all for coming to celebrate the life of our mom, Jade. She lived a very full life and while we were very sad
to lose her last week, we have been lifted by the wonderful memories she has left us, as our family has been
reminiscing about mom in the last week as we go through her old photos and things.
Mom’s heart might have given out last Wednesday, but her spirit will always be with us. It has been a real blessing
to have all the members of Jade’s family around for the last week and our grieving process has evolved into a great
time of family bonding for us - her sons, Terry & Jason, her daughters in-law Amanda & Nicole, her granddaughters
Kate & Ellie, her sister Jasmine and her niece Sylvia.
Mom spent a lifetime teaching Jason and I the little things, so much so that even when we were grown men, she
would still repeat the same old mantra’s she would nag us about when we were little kids – it’s became kind of our
own running joke;
She would say things like, “If you’re going to do something, do it well, or don’t do it at all” - to which Jason and I
would invariably respond, “Okay, we won’t do it at all then”. Hopefully little Kate and Ellie won’t learn that kind of
mischief from their Papa.
As a son, I will always be grateful for being able to return the favor in a small way by teaching her how to use a
Yahoo e-mail account when Kate was born 5 years ago. E-mail became her lifeline to the world as mom became a
voracious e-mailer in her latter years. When going through her email account a few nights ago, we were
overwhelmed to find out that she had sent more than 3,000 emails in less than 4 years. All I knew was, there would
be hell to pay whenever her Internet connection went down and if I didn’t go over and fix it immediately.
As we have been reading the messages of support that have been emailed to us in the past week, I thought I would
share with you some of the words that her friends and family from around the world, have been using to describe
Jade;
• She was always smiley faced and cheerful
• She was full of great stories and recipes
• She had a vibrant personality
• She was a faithful servant of God
• She always sent birthday and Christmas cards every year without fail
• She was thoughtful, kind, gracious and generous
• She was regal, sophisticated, elegant, charming, warm, genuine and approachable – a great lady
• She was everyone’s favorite aunt
• She was like a big sister to not just her family, but to her friends as well, always ready with words of support
and encouragement.
• One of her best friends, Florence Ho, wrote, “She's was a very strong lady and she sailed through all the
storms single-handedly after the sudden death of your beloved Papa. I've great admiration for your mum, her
strength, wisdom, integrity and honesty. She had been the wing beneath my wings when I was feeling down. At
times she'd lift me up so high that I almost touched the sky! That’s your mum”.
That was mum. She was all that and more. But for us, we will always remember her for her absolute unconditional
love for her family. Throughout her life, mom has always been the big shoulder that her siblings, friends and family
leaned heavily on. When mom was 13 years old, her father passed away, and as the eldest daughter in the family
she effectively become the “second mother” to all her 9 siblings.
When we were kids, mom would always make sure Jason and I knew we were loved equally. Whenever one of us
had a birthday, she would always make sure the other brother got a present as well so he would not feel left out –
even if that older brother sometimes threw a tantrum when his present was a smaller one. I hope I’ve outgrown that
one Jason!
Now that I am a father, one of the things I will miss most is how mom would repeat those old little words of wisdom
and stories from our childhood - even if I did tease her that I was hearing it for the hundred millionth time.
After our Papa passed away suddenly 25 years ago in Malaysia, she was a devastated widow, but she steeled
herself and made it her mission in life to see her boys educated to the best of her abilities. She made a lot of
sacrifices in sending Jason and I to Canada 20 years ago. It meant a 10 year period of loneliness for her as she
lived alone in Malaysia. In that time, she never complained to her boys, she wanted us to have the opportunity to
mature into young men and she did not want us to feel guilty that she was a lone widow back home.
While finishing up high-school, going to college, starting my first job, I was focused on my own life and never really
appreciated how difficult it was for her to be a lone widow while her boys were growing up half-way round the world.
Our solace is that throughout that time, I know she found great comfort in spirituality with God and charitable work
through the Wesley Church in Malaysia.
When she moved to Canada 11 years ago, her second mission in life was to see her boys get married – I guess
Jason and I needed some help at the time! Amanda and Nicole, I know mom loved both you like the daughters she
always wanted to have. And Nicole, since mom is no longer around, I guess it is now up to me now to nag you
about more grandchildren – Kate & Ellie need more cousins you know – so no pressure there Nicole!
All kidding aside – nothing made mom more proud and gave her more joy than her grandchildren, whether it was
playing with Kate’s sticker books or watching Ellie dance for her. There was simply nothing more wonderful than
watching the joy on Nai Nai’s face as she watched the kid’s play. In her last testament to us, she wrote “What is life
without my descendents. They are the life line to eternity. My blood flows in their veins.”
Among her last wishes, mom wrote, “I wish to be interred at Mount Pleasant Cemetery, where my grandchildren
can put flowers on my grave and say “Nai Nai loves us”. So, Kate and Ellie, Nai Nai is now an angel in heaven and
she will always love you and take care of you.
When reading Mom’s last testament, we realized we never fully appreciated the full extent of her love for our Papa.
Jason and I lost our father when we were 13 and 10 years old, so my picture of their love was still frozen in a
childhood state from 25 years ago. Mom wrote, “To suffer 25 years of loneliness and try to live a good and chaste
life is sometimes humanly impossible. I pray fervently and constantly to ask for guidance and strength, to endure
from one day to another. Papa’s life was like a candle in the wind. I hope he prepares a place for me in Heaven to
be by him.”
“Nothing is more assuring to know that my loved one is in heaven when my time comes. God is the giver and taker
of life.”
Mama, you spent a lifetime taking care of all of us and we will always be grateful that we had a chance to take care
of you. We know you are now in a better place with Papa.
Goodbye Mama, we will miss you and always love you. God bless you.
| Eulogy for Jade Lim Jee Pung (Jade Teerath Ram) by Terence Ram September 4, 2007 |